


about us

by littleratboy



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet, Dementia, Dialogue-Only, M/M, Memory Loss, Old Married Spirk Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 16:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21323515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleratboy/pseuds/littleratboy
Summary: Why can’t I remember?It’s getting late.Will you stay with me?Yes. Forever.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 18
Kudos: 87
Collections: Old Married Spirk





	about us

**Author's Note:**

> This is definitely self indulgent and im sorry if it's difficult to read, it's a different style than i usually write.

Tell me about us, please.

I met you. Here’s how it went: You walked onto the bridge and I stood up straighter. I announced your presence and we met eyes. You were introduced. I was introduced. I had heard your name and read your file, but then I had met you. You reached to shake my hand and I tensed up to stop from blushing.  
Tell me how it felt.  
It did not.  
Tell me.  
This is what it felt like: I wanted to impress you. I wanted to gain favor. My muscles were tight and my stomach hurt. 

Then?  
You were handsome. Here’s how it went: You did not knock or call out before entering the bathroom between our quarters. I stood at attention and you waved it off. You were getting ready for bed, and you asked me about the ship, but I just watched your mouth. You were handsome. I had seen handsome men before, and I had wanted them before, and I counted it as unpleasant.  
Tell me how it felt.  
It was shameful.  
Tell me.  
This is what it felt like: I wanted to touch you. I wanted to share your bed and hear your sounds. I did blush, and I did not want to share a bathroom with you if I would have to suppress this. I was embarrassed. 

Then what happened?  
I fell in love with you. Here’s how it went: I told you not to go on the away team, and you did regardless. I had known you for months and I should have known better.  
You should have.  
I know now K’diwa. You were hurt. I wanted to keep you safe. I wanted to hold you in my arms and kiss away the pain, like a mother with a child. I was hurting for you. I felt like I could weep. I had never loved another man before. I had never loved romantically. It scared me.  
It felt scary?  
It still does, sometimes. 

I kissed you. Here-  
I remember.  
Yes, you were there.  
You didn’t kiss me, I kissed you.  
It was mutual.  
I started it.  
We do not need to agree.  
Grumpy. Tell me how it felt.  
Perhaps I need a reminder.

What’s the next one?  
Our first time. When we made love.  
I think I remember that.  
You do?  
I think so.  
Here’s how it went: Quiet and slow. You held onto me and spoke so quietly. I was safe and happy. I had heard that first times were supposed to be uncomfortable and embarrassing. I was neither. I still remember your fingers in my hair and lips on mine.  
Don’t lie, you are embarrassed. You’re blushing.  
Now I am. I wasn’t then.  
I don’t remember it. Not the first time, I don’t think.  
That’s alright.  
I’m sorry.  
You don’t have to remember it.  
I’m sorry. Tell me what happens next. 

Here’s how it went: we were kneeling on the hot sands of Vulcan, and you were dizzy with heat and worry and the pressure, but I could not reach out to steady you.  
Oh.  
Hm?  
I remember this.  
Do you want to tell it?  
You married me.  
Yes.  
Show me your ring. Why don’t you wear it?  
I do. It’s here. I don’t wear it on my hand, it’s not comfortable.  
They match. 

The next step was leaving Starfleet. We were getting old. Do you remember?  
I…  
It’s alright. You are alright. Do you want to stop this?  
No. I need to hear you.  
That’s alright. We went back to Earth, we found the apartment. We had weekends off and we read mission reports from Hikaru and Nyota and one day, Demora. Letters from Leonard about Joanna and-  
I don’t know these names.  
That’s alright. They’re our friends. They love us. We can look at pictures of them, later.  
I don’t remember the apartment.  
It’s this one. 

Why can’t I remember?  
It’s getting late.  
Show me your ring again.  
Are you ready to sleep, Jim?  
Will you stay with me?  
Yes. Forever.  
Tell me.

Here’s how it will go: The house is quiet. Tomorrow, Leonard will come to visit, and you will not know his name, but his face will make you smile. He will grouch about the weather and the apartment and the traffic, but when he sees you he will smile. When you are getting tired, he will ask me how we are, because he cares for you. He’s our friend. You like when he visits. He’ll leave, but there will always be someone else visiting. Some days, we will go for walks. Some days, you will remember everyone’s name, until the day you don’t anymore. I will always be here. I will always remind you.  
You love me.  
I love you.  
Show me your ring again.

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna talk to me about oms or this fic or anything else trek-related im talaxian.tumblr.com


End file.
